In our lives, people have so many dreams such as becoming rich; beautiful; intelligent; successful and so on. There is maybe also one dream that people want the most: living long. Longevity is a big dream of human.

In consciousness of Vietnamese, a family which has very old people live in is having a great fortune. Great fortune is having many offspring and living long. In the past, the people at the age of 40 though do not have any important offices in the village, were treated respectfully by all people in the village, as well as in their families. Respecting the old people has become Vietnamese tradition and it is kept until now.

Nowadays, offspring celebrate ''Longevity Day'' when their parents or grandparents are from 70 years old. At the age of 80 or 90, we call it ''Great Longevity", if far more 90 years old, it called "Great-great Longevity". Celebration of Longevity is usually chosen to be held at the really special occasions like Birthday or Lunar New Year Eve.

Besides the meaning of ''Great fortune'', celebration of longevity really has another meaningful purpose because this day is a chance for offspring to show gratitude to their parent. Living piously is a characteristic of Vietnamese and they express this through the thought and the direct actions to their parents in daily life, especially in the celebration of longevity.

In "Longevity Day", offspring may hold a party, all members in family and some guests will come and join. Everbody is all together and deep in the warmth of family atmosphere. Special presents are also prepared to express the gratitude. Thereto, offspring also attach the best wishes of health, they want their parents/grandparents to live long with them, as long as possible!

 To the parents, the material world is may be not really important. The important thing is the deep gratitude - the priceless present from the offspring that they receive. Therefore, celebration of longevity plays an important role in Vietnamese spiritual life.  For over hundred years, this traditional celebration is still kept and brought in to play.

    History of celebration for longevity

     Celebration for longevity is not only a Vietnamese traditional culture but also an occasion to express your respects and appreciations to the elder in your family and relatives

Legend had it that, the people at the age of 40 were considered as the older in their village. This custom originated from Vietnamese history, in the 12^th or 13^th century of Tran Dynasty, Tran King abdicated his throne in favor of his son to organize and manage the country. After that, Tran King came to relax and became a follower of Buddhism. At that time, celebration of longevity would have been held if there had been someone in the village at the age of 50. Although they were not in the high positions in the village, they were always respected. Especially, in the big festivals or ceremonies of their village, only the olders had been allowed to sit on the “cạp điều” sedge mat. The “cạp điều” sedge mat is a kind of mat which had a typical red color, was made from sedge and decorated with many flowers. Up to now, this custom has been preserved and developed. 

Nowadays, the more the span of life lasts, the later cerebration for longevity takes place. The offspring usually hold the celebration for longevity when their parents at the age of over 70 years old.

   Preparations

Firstly, the family has to choose a place to hold the celebration. Only the close relatives are invited then they can hold the ceremony at home. If the family wants to hold it bigger then they may choose a restaurant or a hotel. Thus, they have to reserve a whole restaurant or a conference room of a hotel at one specific day. The family also demands some special equipment like microphone, amplifiers or furniture like a special chair for the elder to sit while receiving congratulations.

Secondly, they write or print the invitation letters and send them to those who they want to invite. People who usually are invited are relatives, friends or old comrades, etc. The invitation letter must be formal, nice and easy to read. Sometimes with close friends, the family simply invites them directly by mouth.

The third part is preparing food for guests. Usually they will have a big meal. It depends on how many guests they will invite so that the family will decide to cook by themselves or use cooking service from restaurant. Some specific foods are required like peach (with the longevity meaning) and wine (usually they use traditional rice wine). The menu should be suitable for both younkers and elders. Sometimes they even order a special menu only for the elders of the family. Also, some traditional cakes may be required if the family want the meal to be more traditional.

Sons, daughters and children in the family of the elder prepare presents for the elder. Usually the presents are something the elder can use in his life like blanket, clothes, etc. Children can simply give a special wish for the elder or give him a meaningful present like their own drawing, singing a song, etc.

Nowadays, many families hire a photographer for this day. They even choose some nice destinations to take pictures for the elder. But the picture for the big family is unreplacable and has a strong meaning for the elder so the picture usually has to be very big and is showed in their house.

 Rituals and activities

Celebration is usually held on the birthday and maybe the first day of New Year. Its scale depends on economic condition of the family but still includes mainly traditional rituals. In rural areas, celebration of longevity is set up at community house where performs public activities of village. However, cultural house is the place standing for longevity of elders in cities.

According to Vietnamese custom, celebration of longevity includes 2 parts: the first part includes rituals and activities set up at community house or cultural house by local authority and the second part is at home.

In the morning of longevity day, elders together with relatives gather at community house or cultural house. Each of elderly people wears a traditional costume called “ao dai”- a long dress, his head is rolled by a turban. 90-year-old people will wear yellow costume and the same color turban on the head, 80-year-old elders will bring red things but people have age of 70 will only wear red turban. After finishing preparation, they stabilize their seats (people having the same color will sit at the same row). The celebration will start with songs. Some families even hire artists to perform dramas or lion-dancing to bring joyful, exciting atmosphere. Then, representative person of local authority will go to the stage to present briefly about name, age and biography of every elder, then wish them best things as well as give them meaningful gifts. Presents are maybe money, lacquer pictures and so on. At the end of celebration, instead of coming back home soon, they will stay at their seats, drink a cup of tea, eat biscuits and have a talk with others.

The second part of celebration is set up at home. Elders will go back their houses to receive wishes from relatives. Offspring will prepare and do a ritual to thank God for their parents’ longevities. Elders will sit at the centre of living room decorated with parallel sentences, lights, flowers... Younger family members will come to offer a sip of wine and wish them longevity. Besides, according to Chinese legend, Tay Vuong Mau gave Han Vu De, a king of China, a magical peach and said that if he had eaten that fruit, he would have became an immortal person. That’s why offspring can offer peaches instead of alcohol drinks. When the ritual finishes, everyone will sit around the food tray to have a meal.

 Special characteristics

In Vietnam, there are 54 ethnic groups. Therefore, it is said that each of ethnic group also has the typical features and is so different from Kinh people. For example, in some areas, they lay offerings under the legs of an altar.

There are several rules that you have to remember when joining a celebration for longevity. According to the age of the elder, you will give them a picture with a Chinese letter at the centre. If the elder is 49 years old, writing “Phuc” on the picture. Writing “Tho” if the elder is from 49 to 61 years old. “Khang” will be written for 61 to 73-year-old elder and “Ninh” for elder who is 73 to 85 years old.  

Truth is told that celebration for longevity is held in so many Asian countries, such as Vietnam, Japan, China... Every country has its own way to celebrate this day then longevity celebration has many colors itself.

In Chinese culture, peach is long associated with longevity. It is believed that peach of the Heaven can grant one an extra 500 years of life once eaten. Thus, elders usually eat a peach or flour peach in their longevity day.

To Japanese elders, they have mainly 9 milestones to celebrate, in which they wear costume in suitable hereunder colors:

o   At the 60^th birthday, elders wear red costume

o   At the 70^th birthday and the 77^th birthday, a costume in purple is required.

o   At the 80^th, the 81^st and the 88^th birthday, they often wear golden brown one.

o   At the 90^th, the 99^th and also the 100^th birthday, white costume is often wore.

  Some changes

After a long time, celebration for longevity has five biggest changes. Each change has its own reason and influence.

Firstly, we can mention the age to celebrate the longevity. In the past, at the age of 40, one was honored for being an old man. The history of Vietnam recounts that during the Tran Dynasty, in the 12^th and 13^th centuries, a 40-year-old king would give up his throne to his son to become a Buddhism monk. According to village customs, a man of 50 is honored as an old man. Old men stop working and are no longer village officials; however, they are still invited to festivals and to sit in the Communal House where they are honorably seated on red-bordered mats. Longevity still preserves deep significance and showing respect for older people. Presently, when grandparents or parents reach the age of 70, 80, or 90, their children and grandchildren organize longevity ceremonies. It points that the life span has increased recent years.

Moreover, today, in almost every village or urban district, there is an Association of Longevity for the eldest, and women are equally venerated. That is because there is no gender unequally and the longevity ceremony is not for only the rich people. It shows the social justice.

Besides, the celebration day has changed. Unlike Westerners, elderly people in Vietnam are not usually in the habit of celebrating their birthdays. It depends on each location: on the first lunar January or on 15 lunar January, commonly happens in early spring festival. The reason is for starters, few old people actually know their exact dates of birth, as they have no birth certificates. Therefore, the Lunar New Year is the time for family reunions. This is the most auspicious time of year and all family members are likely to be home to join in the celebrations. It might be better understood as a way of giving thanks or honoring the elderly.

Lastly, the gifts and the places to hold the celebration are different from the past. Nowadays, the offerings are often the elderly care goods, such as blanket, clothes, etc, even money. However, as living standards have been on the up, celebrations have become more extravagant for some families. A big celebration will not show the gratitude to the parents. “What important is how children behave towards their parents everyday” – an elderly said. In the past, they celebrated simply and the guests were only invited to enjoy tea and cakes. Now, it becomes more and more prolix and costly. The party is often organized in a luxury restaurant. The young people take this chance to invite rich or VIP colleagues for cash and lavish gifts. We should condemn and criticize it to preserve the right traditional value.

Advices for visitors

·     Avoid to be late coming with any reason.

·     If you are close with the family, you should come earlier to help them.

·     Talk with nice tone, and use proper words, especially with the elders.

·     Wear formal clothes. Do not wear revealed clothes. Especially do not wear RED clothes. Only the elder of this cerebration can wear RED clothes.

·     You MUST meet and give congratulation to the elder who hold this ceremony before join with other guests.

·     Do not give huge amount of money as present. Use it to buy something more meaningful.

Nowadays, Vietnamese culture is influenced by globalization. There are both good and bad influences. Although making culture richer, it also modifies our traditional culture. To reduce bad influences, having knowledge about national culture is necessary, especially with student of Faculty of Tourism. Moreover, we can introduce our culture to tourists and their countries. Because ceremonies and festivals are unique features of culture, it is a good idea to research them.

In this assignment, we chose ‘Wedding’ for our topic. Wedding is the most special and important ceremony for a couple also their family. This ceremony marks the beginning of the marriage, as well as acceptance and blessing of family and friends to the bride and groom. To complete the rituals of the ceremony is the obligation for the bride and the groom to demonstrate the filial piety to mother and father, mutual respect and understanding each other.

To complete this assignment, each member has to responsible for the work that divided. At first, we search some general information from the internet and books. Then we compare them with the information gathering from the real life. Finally, we exchange our research and completed the assignment together. 

After finishing this assignment, we have more knowledge about Vietnamese traditional culture, deep in Wedding ceremony. Besides, we also exchange our knowledge learned with other students. It increases the confidence, presentation skill and ability for speaking and listening to English. This is a good preparation for our future job in hospitality industry.

Wedding’s background information:

     In former times, getting married, buying a buffalo and building a house were three most desirous and difficult things which a man wanted to achieve in his life. Wedding is one of the most sacred ceremonies to Vietnamese. The traditional Vietnamese weeding is important not only for the couple but also for the family and the village.  In the past, there almost were arranged marriages; just a few couples dare to get marriage only based on love. Therefore, the family and village played a big role to make decision from the beginning. Choosing the future bride and groom was done very carefully based on two the most important people: the match maker and the fortune teller.

    About the place, the Vietnamese traditional wedding ceremony took part on two days. The first day was held in the bride's home with formal proposal of marriage ceremony. The second day was celebrated in the groom’s house with the certain rituals and wedding banquet for all the relatives, friends, and neighbors. In the traditional wedding, the groom wore the traditional long coat in blue and the bride has to wear the traditional dress in red or yellow.

    Traditionally, weddings were usually held in an ideal period, it is called “wedding season”. It began from the autumn through the lunar New Year festival. At that time, people had spare time and money after finishing almost their seasonal farm work. The weather also was great and suitable for celebrating. Furthermore, following the spirituality, the newly spring is supposed the time for growing and blooming. It is a best sign to wish the newly couple will have the gifted and healthy children soon. The weddings should not be held in the summer because of the high and unpleasant temperature. It is also because of a sad legend “Qixi” Festival or “The Night of Sevens". Therefore, no one wants to celebrate wedding in this time if they do not have some exceptional reasons.

Wedding’s stories:

Nobody knows exactly that where and when the first wedding was happened. Ancient people usually use legend and folk song to explain and educate the next generation about some valuable customs. There are many legends related to traditional Vietnamese wedding but not many people know about “the old men in the moon” story (Ông Tơ Bà Nguyệt – match maker).

Once upon a time, the God was bothered by human’s cunning and many demands. Therefore, the God intended to ask for the human’s craft back. At that time, one mandarin suggested: “In my opinion, you should not take their smart back. People would assume that you are so mean. You just needed to limit the human’s cunning”.

The God felt curios: “How…”

The mandarin showed how scholarly he is: “Nothing works but love can make people be foolish. We just needed to delegate a genie bringing a cord to the earth. Each girl and boy who is near to each other will be tied by the cord. The cleverer they are, the more times we need to cover them. They would have the vicious circle and would have never thought of pestering you anymore”.

The god was so surprise. He praised: “What a clever stratagem!”

He sent an old fairy to the earth to bring this stratagem become true. From this day, people have more chances to fall in love and think of each other. They have not annoyed the God anymore. Also from now, this fairy has been called “The old man in the moon” (Ông Tơ).

Above, this is the story in the heaven. Let’s discover the next story to know more how the stratagem happens in the earth.

Long times ago, there was a Confucian scholar named Vi Cố. He was a brilliant and renowned person. One day, while he was roaming, he happened to see an old man with his big note book and the red silk cord.

It was strange for Vi Cố to feel curios and ask about those things. The old man replied with a smile: “I am the God of marriages. I decided all who the destiny of each person is. Here was the silk cord which is predestination for the lovers”.

Vi Cố was very excited to ask the old man about his future destiny. The old man said: “Your predestined wife was a three years old girl. She was a beggar’s daughter at Đông Đô market”.

Vi Cố was so upset and disappointed when hear that. The old men said: “It was a match ordained by heaven; you could not change it or avoid it”.

The day after, Vi Cố went to Đông Đô market. In fact, he saw a woman was begging for living with her three years old daughter at the corner of this market. He got angry and hired a bad man to kill the little girl. The wicked man accepted the offer and did the mission. After that this man runs away because of too scary.

Fifteen year later, Vi Cố passed the examination with flying colors. The prime minister noticed him. He decided to marry his daughter – Tố Lan for Vi Cố. Vi Cố was so happy and grateful. In the wedding night, Tố Lan’s beauty made Vi Cố admire. But he just found a scar on the back of her neck. Vi Cố asked to know why she had this scar. Tố Lan said honestly that she was a beggar’s daughter. Fifteen years ago, there was a wicked man had tried to kill her for no reason. Luckily, her mother could escape from that horror situation. Then her mother passed away, leaving her as an orphan. At that time, the minister had had no children, so he had adopted her. Listened to each word by word, Vi Cố was broken-hearted inside. He asked himself “What a predestined affinity!”. And all the things the old man has told recalling to him.

Ancient people said that:

“ Hữu duyên thiên lý năng tượng ngộ,

Vô duyên đối mặt bất tương phùng”

means

“No matter how far the distance is,

If we have predestination, we will have various opportunities to meet each other

If not, no matter how hard we try; we still will not match each other”.

    Preparations for wedding:

Getting married is one of the most important changes in somebody’s life; not only for the involved couple but also for both families. So it is necessary to have a good preparation before getting married. In Vietnam, the preparations for wedding normally take a long time. After the engagement, both of the two families will go to see a Buddhist monk, spiritual leader, or fortune teller due to the spiritual nature of the occasion to ask a best date and time for the marriage ceremony. This tradition does not change if the family is Catholic. The preparations before wedding in Vietnam normally follow these steps:

-         Decide the wedding’s budget

The whole of our life revolves around money and wedding is no exception. Hence, the first thing that the bride and groom need to do is decide upon their wedding budget. A budget will enable them to decide the grandeur of their wedding. The choice of location, numbers of guests are the factors that are primarily influenced by a budget.

-         Make a checklist

The next thing that the bride and groom need to do is make a detailed wedding preparation timeline. This will enable them to divide the tasks according to their priority and time at their disposal. Important tasks such as booking venue, honeymoon reservations, etc., should be done at least 3 to 6 months prior to the big day. Maintaining a checklist can help them to organize their time and will also ensure that they finish everything well ahead of time.

-         Bookings and reservation

Make all the important bookings when it still have 6 months to go. These include selecting a venue for wedding and reception, choosing a catering service, hiring a wedding photographer, booking a florist and decorator, hiring a music band, hairstylist, makeup artist etc. Meanwhile, also make sure to have the passport and other travel documents in place. Do not forget to make travel and hotel reservations for the honeymoon. 

-         Guest list and invitations

Firstly, they will have to make a list of wedding guests. Then they have to select and buy the invitation cards, send the wedding invitation cards at least 3 to 4 weeks before wedding.

-         Shopping

Shopping for wedding dresses and gifts takes up considerable time of the wedding preparation. The bride and groom will have to make several trips to the shops until they find a perfect wedding dress. Nowadays, Vietnamese brides often choose white dress instead of traditional dress Ao Dai. Besides, they will also have to arrange for bridesmaids dresses and gifts. Attending dress trials and shopping for accessories, shoes is another time consuming task. They will also have to shop for wedding favors, groom's gift, wedding rings etc. About one or two weeks before the wedding, the bride and groom will have to register for marriage certificate at The People’s Committee. One day before the wedding, houses of the bride and groom are well decorated with ribbons, flowers, etc. The atmosphere is full of music and happiness. Just before the wedding ceremony, the groom’s family decorates vehicles with flowers as their responsibility is to go and pick up the bride from her home. The couple needs to make up and dress well; they all want to become the most attractive people in their wedding.

    Wedding’s rituals and activities:

Wedding is one of the most important events in Vietnamese lifetime, not only with the bride and the groom but also with both their families. Therefore, it is usually concluding some main formal rituals. Depending on habits of specific ethnic groups and other areas in the country, getting marriage needs many different steps, but generally a Vietnamese modern wedding has three main ceremonies: The gate touching ceremony, the betrothal ceremony (or engagement ceremony) and the wedding ceremony. The wedding day often is an auspicious day which is chosen in advance. Following Vietnamese thought, a couple’s future depends on “age compatibility” of the bride and the groom, a good days and hours for the betrothal and wedding ceremony. Both parents of bride and groom often consulted a professional fortune-teller to choose a lucky days and hours.

The gate touching ceremony: The groom’s parents bring gifts to the bride’s house and formally ask for an engagement. The groom’s parents present a piece of paper in which groom’s name, age and birth date were written. The bride’s family decides to accept the engagement or not. Nowadays, the gate touching ceremony is not the same as it used to be traditionally in the past, but only the meeting between both families. It doesn’t need the appearance of the matchmaker as well as the cumbersome gifts. At this stage, one of both families can cancel the marriage.

The betrothal ceremony: This is an important ceremony to announce the marriage. This ceremony marks a significant stage in the lifetimes of the bride and the groom. After this ceremony, the bride will become formally the fiancée of the groom. The gifts of the betrothal ceremony usually concludes : betel leafs and areca nuts, cốm cake, wine, “husband-and-wife” cake (bánh phu thê), candied lotus seeds, tea, five fruits trays, a toasted pig.…to show the grateful of the groom to the bride’s parents. The betrothal ceremony is often held half a year or about one week to 10 days before the wedding day. 

The wedding day: It concludes some main rituals. Before the groom go to fetch the bride, his mother and another person in family come to the bride’s family with betel and areca nuts and a bottle of wine to annouce the time when the groom fetch the bride for the preparation of the bride’s family. After that, a respected old man in the family is chosen to be a representative person of the groom’s family. He will lead the groom, the groom’s father, relatives and the close friends of the groom to fetch the bride. The representative of the groom’s family normally go first, the groom’s father, the groom and his friends follow behind. At the bride’s house, the representative gives speech of making offer to fetch the bride in front of both families. With the permission of the olders in family, the groom enters the room inside for giving  flowers to the bride, pays homage to the bride’s ancestors. After that, both the bride and the groom come outside to make greetings to their parents, parents-in-law, relatives and friends. Then, the bride comes with the groom and his companions to the groom’s house. At the groom’s house, they are led to the altar so as to worship the ancestor and make greetings to her husband relatives. Finally, the groom’s family invites the bride’s family to take part in the wedding banquet. The wedding banquet is often held in a luxury hotel or big restaurant with the presence of both 2 families and friends of the bride and the groom.

In general, the wedding rituals has changed so much from the past to the present in order to make it easier, simpler and suitable with the modern life.

     Wedding’s special characteristics:

Just like weddings in other countries, Vietnamese traditional wedding is a colorful and happy event to not only the couple but also their family, friends and everyone who join the event. But there are some features that make a wedding in Vietnam different:

Wedding season in Vietnam is autumn or winter – when the weather is cooler and farmers have less work on the field. Meanwhile, Westerners tend to organize their weddings in the summer and then they usually have a short period of time called Honeymoon.

Because of some ancient believes and superstitions, Vietnamese people always ask the fortune teller to choose an auspicious date to hold the wedding, but this custom does not exist in the West.

Getting married both in Vietnam and in the West traditionally includes two steps: engagement (or betrothal) and wedding. While the groom in the West only has to ask the bride’s parents for permission to get married and present an engagement ring to show his commitment, Vietnamese groom and his family has to visit the bride’s family bearing a dowry: red lacquered boxes full of tea, cake, wine, areca leaf and betel nut, covered by red silk and carried by unmarried young men and women in red clothes. Then, the dowry will be set on the ancestral altar in two small portions, the smaller one will be returned to the groom’s family to show that they have been too generous and the bride's family is not greedy.

Vietnamese brides and grooms nowadays prefer wearing gown and suits like Western couples in the wedding. But traditionally, they wear Ao dai – Vietnamese traditional garment.

In both Vietnam and in the West, the wedding guests gift the couple presents to wish them luck. But Vietnamese people tend to gift the envelope with cash, meanwhile Westerners gift household goods like pots, tea sets, kitchen appliances...

The cakes in wedding are an essential part of every wedding. In the Vietnamese wedding, phu the or su se cake is indispensible. It is wrapped in green dong leaf, which represents for an eternal life and tied by red ribbon – the symbol of the destiny that connects the couple. Meanwhile, a large multi-layered cake, which is usually decorated with icing, always appears in a Western wedding.

     Wedding’s changes:

Up to now, the wedding rituals have many changes. Some bad customs were removed gradually. Besides, the modern weddings also effect strongly from the Western culture. The first change is the rituals. A traditional wedding need to have at least 6 main rituals: Nạp thái, Vấn danh, Nạp cát, Thỉnh kỳ, Nạp tế and Thân nghênh. However, some complicate rituals are removed in order to make the wedding easier and suitable to the young people. Nowadays, the wedding only has three main rituals as above. Sometimes, the gate touching ceremony can be removed as well. The wedding banquet is often held in the restaurants or in the home ground. The bride and the groom exchange their rings. Then they cut the wedding cake as well as pour the champagne to cheer. Secondly, it is the changes in wedding costumes. During the 1930s, when the marriage was still influenced by feudal concepts, the bride often wore váy lĩnh cạp điều (a dress of glossy black with a hem of bright red silk) and the áo tứ thân (four-flap dress). Nowadays, no one wears these kinds of costumes any more. After the first war against France colonialists, there are many changes in clothes styles. At that time, both the bride and the groom wear the áo dài traditional costumes. In the 1980s, the layered Western-style wedding dresses began to appear in Vietnam. Nowadays, the bride doesn’t just wear the traditional costumes in her wedding days. The bride often wears áo dài in the betrothal ceremony. Then, she will change to Western style wedding dress in her wedding day. The groom always wears Western costumes in every ceremony.

In general, the Vietnamese modern wedding has many changes but still storing traditional features. The symbol of wedding is still betel nuts and areca as well as the red color is the main color. Some main rituals are stored, showing the grateful to the ancestor. The betel nuts and arecas , “husband and wife” cake, five fruits tray, tea, Cốm cake,… is the important gifts in wedding custom and also bring the  Vietnamese traditional culture.

    Advices for tourists

Because wedding is a private event, tourists – especially foreign tourists are not welcomed to a Vietnamese wedding. You must be invited as the friends of the bride or the groom or the influential person to the couple or so on. But you can still take some photos of the wedding when some rituals take place outside, on the street… or pose with the couple when they are taking photos before the wedding.

If you are invited to a Vietnamese wedding party, you don’t have to wear a very formal suit with vest, white shirt or tie like you have to wear in a Western wedding, but not too casual either. All you need is a neat and polite outfit. When you are leaving, you should say thanks to the newlywed and their parents who invited you to the wedding.

If you receive the invitation but you cannot come to the wedding party, you should send a gift or an envelope with cash inside as your congratulation to their happiness.

Ottawa, Canada

I was tired, it was very hot outside, and soon to be my birthday … the last thing I wanted (despite my usual eagerness to travel) was an invite for a long bus ride to see the Royal Couple, Kate and Will, in Ottawa (a place I’d never been to before). I never was one to suffer much for royalty, but my daughter (far more princess-like than her mother) really, really, wanted to go! I could not possibly say no to her wish.

To my further surprise, my daughter next informed me Charles De Lint lived there, a creative writer of urban fantasy she herself introduced me to (not in person, of course). Chances were nill I’d meet him there (which proved true), but the hope was a big bonus.

After a night bus ride we arrived in a super-sun-drenched city (I had packed my entire suit case for colder Canadian weather).  I was impressed with the elegantly old and wondrously English parliament buildings resembling small castles.  One building has two gargoyles on top.  There’s a two-spired church, steeples glistening like huge upside down icicles, along with a giant spider sculpture uncommonly beautiful. Nearby is a small waterfall where one can see Quebec across the river.

300,000 visitors filled the streets the next day, almost doubling the population.  The searing sun seemed to melt everyone and everything down into one bronzed entity.  Light glittered off the buildings and on the lawn where we all stood … waiting, waiting, waiting … sweating and hot.  Bells kept chiming out the hours.

What we don’t do for our kids …

Feeling innovative, I gathered my scarf around my hat so it resembled a burqa-like tent flowing around me, a protection against the solar glare.  I stood out in the crowd, invisible as I was, and very soon, other people (even men) had spare clothing wrapped around their heads draping down their backs and shoulders.  We all were Arabian that day, with new understanding and deep appreciation for their traditional clothing.

Then came the time.  Suddenly, the roar of cannon fire … again and again, while big jets zoomed low overhead (reminding me instantly of a plane that crashed right into the audience at an airshow years ago).

The sound of bagpipes floated on the still, simmering air followed by an entourage of decorated police and black, armored motor cars. Elegant troops of horses came, manes and tails bouncing, naturally royal.  They proudly pulled dainty carriages.  Somebody noticed snipers (dressed in apropos black) standing on nearby roofs which gave everything an eerie overcast.

All this glorious pomp and glory, though, could not possibly compete with the first memory I had of that city.  I was on a jostling public bus going toward the hotel in the morning.  There, on the sidewalk racing alongside the street, I thought I saw someone I knew.  Except that person died fourteen months ago.  Nevertheless, there he was again, for one split second:

A First Nation Indian fellow about my age had materialized within the frame of the dusty bus window.  He had lovely copper skin which stood out immediately from the swirling blur of people.  I’m not sure anyone else on that bus even saw him – perhaps he was invisible to everyone but me.  Slender, with high cheekbones and an earring, he was roaring down the street – in a wheelchair!  His long hair was flowing like blown black feathers while his strong hands turned the big wheels of his chair.  Oddly, he seemed to have the stick of a candied sucker poking out the side of his lips – that’s when I thought for sure it must indeed be the man I knew, who would have done all those same things.

“Look!” I caught my daughter’s attention (this all happened in a flash). “Do you see that handsome Native in that wheelchair over there?  He’s Tom Soto’s doubleganger, like his angel!”

She looked, but already he was gone.  Disappeared, as if he’d easily slipped right back into heaven.  My daughter shook her head, disappointed she missed the Canadian version of our beloved friend (an Aztec Indian) of thirteen years.  The bus drove hastily on while the outdoor crowds changed our view like a turning of the Kaleidoscope.

“Why, I could swear it was Tom!”  I told her.

Smiling, my girl wisely replied, “Well, Mom, remember this is “De Lint-ville,” it’s enchanted.  Here anything is possible!  Maybe he really was Tom.”

Yes, I think so - kind of - it was love, and Tom’s memory.  I would never have noticed that stranger in such a crowd without my huge love for him.  Tom made his reappearance that day through my memory.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Romanian President Traian Basescu called HMS King Michael of Romania a traitor…. How far can a *supposedly* democratic president go when expressing personal opinions and such in public?
ActMedia Romanian News Agency:http://www.actmedia.eu/2011/06/24/top+story/royal+house+will+not+comment+on+p…
Yahoo News:http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110623/ap_on_re_eu/eu_romania_basescu_king
The Kansas City Star:http://www.kansascity.com/2011/06/23/2969149/romanian-president-launches-atta…
Romania Report Blog: http://romania-rep.blogspot.com/2008/02/president-basescu-in-timisoara-i-will…
Find out more: http://www.google.ro/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=basescu+about+…

I didn’t plan to take on this subject at the beginning. But, at the same time, a so-called democratic president … sings the tunes of the Securitate & co? (Securitate was the Romanian secret police during the belle epoque – for the unitiated, before 1989, when it was a Communist dictatourship under Nicolae Ceausescu) Bashing the Royal Family was en vogue then, for obvious reasons. But what does this prove?

Going beyond the obvious insult (recited a la carte from the How to Be a Good Boy – girls are obviously left out, they are supposed to stay at home and breed a future glorious generation for the Party and for the country -  handbook printed in the brains of so many people…), this is an intriguing – and terrifying – Freudian (Stalinist?) slip from a person who is supposed to promote a certain set of morals, convictions and act as the representative of the many. What is even more disturbing is the thought that, even though he has lost a whole bucket o’ points in the hearts of his *cough* subjects, Basescu still shows no sign of stopping his destructive ways. He’s like on a bloody rampage with nothing to lose!

Well, anyway, this is from the point of view of an insider who can pledge alliance to the King at any time. How does this appear from the outside? I’m really interested to see if this little slip will hurt Basescu (and Romania?)’s international image. My question is … is a president supposed to recite such offensive poems?

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The Literary Party: Growing Up Gay and Amish in America – All Romance Ebooks.

Tune in and learn a language!

I’m in a Brazilian hiking group and new hikers always ask me how I learned Portuguese with a Portuguese accent. My response is always: KSQQ, Rádio Comercial Portuguesa 96.1FM in San Jose, CA, a Portuguese Community Radio. I listened through a lot of ads for funeral homes and Catholic masses while driving. And low and behold, I learned Portuguese.

Judy Keen of USA TODAY published an article on foreign language radio stations in the US and their problems to stay in business, Foreign-language radio stations provide connection to home . Another addition to the article should have been that those radio stations not only keep foreign nationals and immigrants in the US connected to each other and in tune with what’s going on in their home countries, but they also serve as a resource for language learners to have a constant source of information in their target language.

If it weren’t for my intermittent tuning into Portuguese radio, I probably would not speak the language as well as I do. Now my accent is mixed between a Brazilian and Portuguese one but my continental Portuguese vowels and “sh” sounds are distinctly from the Iberian peninsula and I’ve never lived there.

Keep those radio stations on and help language learners pick up a new language while in traffic.

The Literary Party: Growing Up Gay and Amish in America

by James Schwartz

e-books here:

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/67999

by James Schwartz

From the pale city
Beside the pale sea
I traveled once more home
To the fields in hues of tea

I left behind abandon lovers
They did not see me go
I keep my silence still
I have nothing left to show

No goodbyes were called out
As the pale city fell behind
Only silence reigned
Of the indifferent kind.

Entrevista en el programa matutino de Univision San Francisco (KDTV) con la autora del libro, El Idioma es Música” acerca de los temas de como hablar inglés y español sin mezlcarles en Spanglish y como utilizar canciones, televisión y películas para aprender idiomas. El 13 de junio 2011. (Interview in Spanish about how to avoid speaking Spanglish and speak both English and Spanish correctly and how to use songs, TV, movies and other media to learn languages.) June 13, 2011.

1ra entrevista (1st interview)

2da entrevista (2nd interview)

Вы хотите говорить на иностранном языке?

Слушайте музыку, смотрите телевизионные программы и кинофильмы.
Сусанна Зарайская, автор книги «Язык – это музыка», считает, что каждый язык имеет свою тональность, как и музыкальное произведение.

Even though it may seem this post is a rant, it most certainly isn’t. These are some thoughts about travelling and tourism that have been bugging me for some time.

I don’t dislike travelling – in fact I love it and, in one way or another, I’ve been on the road all my life – but I tend to dislike tourism. What I mean by tourism? The kind of *cough* travelling done through an agency that plans everything from lodging to itineraries. That is, one’s visit is filtered through the eyes, opinions and narrow-mindedness of some travel agent who decides what you should see, where you should eat, whom you should meet. Of course, these things are also planned according to that particular city, region or country’s intentions: for example, you can’t visit – say North Korea, perhaps even China or Cuba – freely. These two coupled, you get to see what some other people – Big Brother, maybe? – want you to see. I remember that in 2007, I went to Turkey with a very good friend of mine and, as we have Balkan Flexi-Pass tickets and some days off, we decided to stroll around the country as well (We were headed towards Eskisehir, but before that, we spent a few days in Istanbul and most part of a day in Ankara). While we were still in Istanbul, we went around the town, meeting people, and talking with them, we told them about our plans to visit Ankara too and everybody told us not to go there, “better go to Izmir or some other place like that”, they said. Then we realized what they meant: there was a contrast – I’m not saying in the bad sense, but in the sense of a great difference – between the former Constantinople and the country’s capital. We still loved it, and it was an incredible experience – knowing the real soul of a country cannot be achieved by only visiting the touristic attractions and suggestions!

On the other hand, I very much dislike narrow-minded people and those with a superior attitude towards everybody else because they come from a place or another. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but these people are usually the ones that haven’t left their safe-zone bubble much or the ones that have complexes and are so insecure that they put on a high-horse mask to anybody who doesn’t know their true situation.

Travelling should be a fun experience. I’m not going to start a psychological or marriage counseling blog, but, if you are going to live with somebody, make that somebody with whom you have at least a common subject or passion! Tourist couples that sit in restaurants face to face looking at everything else – except their partners – does not only make them feel awkward and disgusted, but everybody else too! I’m not saying that, if you don’t have a wife or husband with whom you can talk at least about the weather or the latest tennis match, you shouldn’t go out and about, but at least try to make the trip pleasant for your partner, everybody else – that way, you’ll see your own time will be pleasant – and maybe even fun – too!

Getting to know a society or culture is exactly like getting to know a person: you can’t do that only by going through its public image. For example, England is not only Trafalgar Square or Buckingham Palace, France is not only the Eiffel Tower (and – if you’re more cultured, or intend to seem so – Louvre or Cannes), Romania is not only Dracula, Japan is not only geisha and samurai, China is not only The Great Wall, etc. You should at least read about the inner workings of that society: a bit about the language(s), food, history, etc. You should also see if there are special requirements (like if you go to Saudi Arabia or Iran, for example). You should always abide by the saying When in Rome, do as Romans do.

Don’t hesitate to meet people and listen to their stories. Don’t be afraid to make friends. You can risk a bit and try new streets, shops or foods (of course, not too much, as some places can be really dangerous). Ask the locals. If you can live with a family, that’s even better! Don’t be afraid to enjoy your visit!

That being said, I’m just hoping that ideas like Slow Travel or Couch Surfing get more into the mainstream and will be tried by people who – until now – never went out of the “Travel Agency – Hotel – Tourist Attractions – Travel Agency” vicious circle.

And… until the next time … Life is more than one journey, love every one of them! As an end, please listen to this Jimmy Cliff song:

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• Fans offered UK film pilgrimage (autonetinsurance.co.uk)
• Turkey’s Moment (businessweek.com)
• London tourist alert: Prince William on horseback (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

Click here to view the embedded video.

This video is basically a collage of different pictures I’ve taken a few weeks ago during an Indian festival in Trafalgar Square, London UK. I was fascinated by the sea of colours and the blend between sari and traditional Indian textures with modern-Western materials and shapes. I have an obsession for taking pictures of feet – it’s not a fetish, it’s more like a way of cutting an image (with its story) to the slightest detail (the feet) which still holds a meaning and can tell much more than the whole picture. It also leaves room to imagination!

Enjoy … and Hare Krishna!

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A May 28th article on Yahoo! News really confounded me. The title says “Married couples in less than half of US households.” I guess I grew up in an environment where there is a stigma associated with not being married and having a domestic relationship with someone else. Call me old-fashioned – but I see no wrong in being that way. Marriage is a big step and before we get there, we need to create a deep relationship with our partner. A lot of times we think we know everything -the-I-know-what-I’m-doing. But listen -  if you are in a relationship and one person is not on the same wavelength as you are – you are better off alone or finding someone who deserves you. Experience can only tell you how it is. I truly believe that a man will do the most honorable thing for a woman – and that is not to subject her for countless judgements.

My husband and I got married at the Commonwealth of Virginia. Getting a license was easy and the fee would have been waived if we had at least attended three days of seminar. We wanted to legalize that union but at the same time we wanted God’s blessing. According to the Catholic Church, we could not have a full Catholic Matrimonial Ceremony because my husband was not Catholic. So we had our little ceremony at a small church in Shallowater, Texas, and the priest blessed us and our rings. So I wore my white dress that my sister worked for days sewing on the white beads and sequins. It was good enough even with just family around.

Really, but what baffles me is that it becomes a trend. So talked to a lot of people and they’ve given me the following reasons:

[1] “We wanted to test the water first before we jump in.” – But don’t you spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend almost everyday? Does it have to be a 24/7 Scientific Investigation to be able to know what annoys both of you?

[2] “We don’t have the money for the ceremony and I want to invite all my friends who invited me in their wedding.” – There are several options to invest that money than a glamorous ceremony. If you cannot afford it, then be honest with yourself. What is really important for you – the wedding ceremony or being in a secure relationship with your partner? Your REAL friends will understand that.

[3] “We had a baby so we kinda lived together.But I am not sure I want to marry him.” – Maybe you shouldn’t live together and let him stay with his mama and you’re better off staying with your mama, too. You’re both going to be called a “baby’s mama” or a “baby’s daddy” for the rest of your life. My vocabulary gets extended each day.

[4] “My mom lived with this guy who is younger than her. But he has been supporting us.” – I talked to some teenagers and if it is all right for their mom or dad to be in a domestic relationship, then it becomes “all right” for them, too. How can something be wrong with something when it becomes right from the start?

[5] “Everybody’s doing it so why not?” – That’s the point. We used to cringed at the stigma associated with dissuading from the norm. But where is the stigma? Society has made it easy for young people nowadays to have a baby and just live with their partners. There’s free day care, there’s the Food and Nutrition Program called WIC provided by each state in the US, and of course there are food stamps that can qualify low-income families.

[6] “I was in a bad relationship before and got divorced. So I don’t want that to happen again.” – Nobody’s perfect. We all make bad decisions sometime in our lives but we all would like believe in second chances. We move on. But marriage is still a commitment and you have to try to make it work. That’s why it is important to prepare for that giant leap. Have a long engagement; try being away from each other for sometime and see how you both react to situations; compromise and compromise if you have to.

Compromise and Commit. That’s it! I used to be a skeptic but life is that way – it changes your perspective, lowers your tolerance for immaturity, and makes you appreciative of the little things in life. Pray – that’s the most powerful weapon we have to create good changes in our lives.

by James Schwartz

Once upon a night.

Fubar fable syrup.

Blessed be false China.

February theatre.

Bed of midnight.

Exhaling.

Egg nog snow.

Blanketed breakers crash.

Seascapes.

 Ripped lace.

Ragged visions.

Capsize.

 Baptize.

 Sonnetize.

Rave.

Unto the white sun fantastic.

Blessed be the undressed.

Caw caw caw cool.

Your Bronx grave.

Literary clubbers.

Star cold eyes.

Eyes of the Universe.

Javelin takes all.

Out of bounds.

Out of blue.

Caw caw caw come.

Sweet violence.

Night violence.

Black ink.

Black ice.

Reflection pools.

Remixed emotions.

Blessed are the poets.

Blessed are the cities’ tears.

On the rocks.

Ginsberg and tonic.

Disco nights, sleeping.

Blessed are the wild weeping.

Smooth utterings.

Tropical fruit.

Black ice symphonies.

Last call.

Sip from Stein.

See starry lines.

Blessed be floral death.

Jungle trance.

Deep freeze.

Blessed be the close of your eyes.

Thank you, sequins.

Thank you, Allen.

_______________________________________________________

NOTE: My Hymmnn is an answer to Hymmnn by Allen Ginsberg, a finalist for the Starry Rhymes: 85 Years of Allen Ginsberg chapbook anthology (edited by Claire Askew and Stephen Welsh www.onenightstanzas.com).  I was both honored to be a finalist and happy to pay tribute to poet Allen Ginsberg.